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That we both wanted to "do it" wasn't the question. We'd confessed that. No, the tension arose from the not knowing. The not knowing in view of the wanting and that nagging voice coming up from the hind brain that repeatedly urged, "Go ahead. Have a bite. It's just an apple."I smiled to myself and thought, "Lead me not into temptation. I know the way myself."Despite that sometimes-delicious pull into the last taboo, we continued to be comfortable about each other. As long periods of silence are comfortable among close friends, we had no feeling of malaise around our unresolved passions. We were, both of us I think, content in following the thread of our lives and our connection, not knowing where it would take us.There was a time, both before and again later, when I practiced a studied imperturbability, a coolness on the surface that frequently gave the lie to the cauldron beneath. I certainly didn't suffer from alexithymia... that failure to recognize feelings when I had them. To. “No, I think Steve could have come as James Bond. He has the tux. And we could have come as Bond Girls!” Kara said with a smirk.“Which one of you would have been Pussy Galore?” I teased.I was immediately smacked hard by my wives, each one hitting a shoulder.“Jess would have come as Tracey,” Kara said.“Oh sure, the wife who was killed off!” Jessica laughed. “Should I worry, Kara?”“Only if she were to come as Rosa Klebb!” I chuckled, then teased, “Come to think of it, there might be some resemblance.”I got hit again, this time by Kara.“Maybe you should just call Tanya and arrange for her to come as Tatiana Romanova!” Kara said.“Oooh, I like it!” I grinned. “She could wear that black choker I gave her and nothing else!”Kara laughed, “I can’t imagine her doing that except for you, in private!”“And not any more,” I said. “Jess, do you want me to come down with you for the week? I could work from your place.”“No, Friday is OK. I’m on an on-call surgical service so I won’t keep a regular.
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